How Meditation Saved My Life

Meditation ~ from depression to love.

I had always been too impatient to try meditation. Sitting around contorted, not doing anything? Not my idea of fun. Until a few years ago, something changed my mind.

I was at a point in my life where things were going downhill in every way – especially emotionally. Being a voracious reader, I had tried everything that I could get my mitts on, including the Tony Robbins course etc. but nothing really worked. They chipped away very slowly, but I was on a fast decline, rapidly spiralling into a deep depression.

I needed to find something ~ and fast.

There was a book on my shelf that had been there for years that I’d never read, it was a tiny book about meditation. It was called “Meditation: A Foundation Course, by Barry Long” an Australian spiritual seeker and teacher. It has about ten chapters, very short, one exercise per chapter. It’s great for the beginner to experience what meditation is all about and what it can do for you.

I picked it up and started reading about it and I remember thinking, “hmm, this sounds pretty strange, this doesn’t sound right,” because it was a little challenging. It started off by saying that meditation is destructive! It destroys the false in you. And I thought, “I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much. There’s nothing false in me!” And of course, that voice, the voice of my ego is exactly what was false about me.

Of course we all have ego ~ it’s how we survive in the world. It’s become a bit of a bad thing to have if you read new age material, but it is nothing more than the idea you have about yourself, and a pretty handy concept most of the time.

What I didn’t realize at the time was the fact that “I” am not my ego. It’s something I made up in my mind to make sense of the world. I was under the belief that I was my thoughts. Just like the famous Descartes quote, “I think, therefore I am.” Nothing could be further from the truth. But that was the illusion that I was suffering under and that’s pretty much the predominant Western illusion.

So when I read that meditation was going to destroy the false in me, destroy the “ego,” destroy the conditioning of the mind, my ego put up its defense mechanisms. But because I was in such a negative and depressed state of mind, I pushed myself through and persisted anyway because I had nothing left to try. I’d done everything and tried all the other approaches and I was still desperately unhappy and my life wasn’t working in any way ~ Career, health, financial, no relationship, away from my family, even when hanging out with friends I’d just spend my time complaining to them. So, not one area of my life was working. My nutrition was very bad. I would exist on McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, pizza and pasta fast food. I later worked out that I was spending a third of my income (which wasn’t small, but it wasn’t great either) on food ~ junk food. I was unhealthy, overweight, I wasn’t exercising, and I was in bad shape emotionally. All these factors, mental, emotional, physical, were driving me down into a pretty bad spiral, fast. And that’s when I picked up the book and began these simple meditation exercises.

The exercises were pretty simple. The first covered posture (sitting upright in a regular chair for westerners), breathing and focus.

“Most people confuse a still mind with a blank, idiotic mind. Far from it. A still tiger is not a blank or idiotic tiger. A still mind and a still tiger are alert, aware, poised and ready.”

I proceeded with the first few exercises and just watched my thoughts come up and wander as thoughts do, but I didn’t find it very interesting because my thoughts came very rapidly as my mind-chatter was insane.

At the time I couldn’t sleep at night. When I went to bed every night, I would lay there for at least two hours, uncontrollably thinking until I eventually tired myself out. So, the monkey-mind, the conditioned mind was over-active with (what I’d later find out to be) beta brainwave activity. The beta stage is a fight-flight stage, helpful for running away from bears but not so good for relaxation or creativity. It creates stress hormones in the body and wears you out before your time if you continually operate at this level (like most westerners do). Meditation on the other hand, stimulates other brainwaves, and in turn tells the brain to produce hormones that make you more relaxed, more connected and more creative.

I persisted with this ten-lesson course of meditation over the weeks because I’d read the studies declaring that it was an effective way of getting my life back on track. So for the beginning goal of meditation was to simply become happy again. All I wanted was some peace, to stop the mind-chatter and to get my creativity back. Creativity is my life-blood because I work in film and TV and need it all day, every day.

I persisted meditating every day for about six months… and nothing really happened. The mind-chatter that I experienced was so great, it was just as persistent as I was! But then it happened: One day, near the end of a meditation I caught a glimpse of peace, a tiny fragment of bliss.

What is Bliss?

For me it was a gap, between one thought and the next. A gap had opened up, and would have only been for a split-second. This gap was something I’d probably not experienced since I was in my early teens ~ I’d forgotten all about it. Now, when you are under the illusion that you are your thoughts, and then your thoughts stop, what happens to “you?” As I experienced this fleeting gap between thoughts, I realized I was still there, still alive, still conscious ~ but I wasn’t thinking. Even though I wasn’t thinking, I was still conscious, I was still aware. This shattered my belief that “I am my thoughts,” once and for all, but what’s more, it felt good. It felt wonderful, after all it was an experience of bliss! In that tiny half-second, I was in bliss, experiencing timeless peace and happiness.

Of course, I instantly gave this a lot of thought! And didn’t experience it again for a couple of days. But when I did, the gap got larger. And this gap kept getting larger and more frequent. That’s when I knew there was something in this meditation thing! If you can experience that tiny gap, that small sliver of light shining through the crack in the door, then you will eventually be able to walk through it. And that was a very exciting prospect for me indeed.

Those tiny gaps that were opening up for me were also having an effect on my life outside of my meditation. I finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My persistence was starting to pay off.

With this new excitement, I did a lot more research on meditation and spirituality both online and especially offline. I tackled it the same way I approach anything, by diving into the subject boots and all. I had quite a lot of savings at that point so I had the luxury of taking time off work (I worked freelance, so I could do that) and poured myself into learning about meditation.

I found a lot of great books, a lot of good spiritual teachers and started learning these new ideas and evaluating their merits for myself. None of the religious stuff was very interesting to me, so I focused more on the philosophy and and the practical side ~ things I could actually apply right away, and measure its impact.

I learned about the “religionless-religion” Buddhism, about yoga, zen and some Hinduism. But I especially liked the teachings of westerners who had studied the eastern religions like Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, et al. I was already an avid student of Joseph Campbell, so all these new ideas were coming together in a new and elegant way for me. I hope to share what I have learned in a very simple and practical way, so you too can start to apply some very useful techniques to improve your life (and begin to reverse some of that negative programming we were all subjected to as children). It’s my intention that you can quickly learn the most beneficial techniques for taking control of your life, without spending all the time that I have in distilling it.

It’s all about learning how to create your life consciously and intentionally. You decide for yourself.

So there I was with these beautiful gaps of pure consciousness opening up before me. While at the same time reading about how most people have to spend at least 20 years meditating before attaining anything like “enlightenment,” or “awakening.” My ego jumped onto those pretty quick and said, “oh yeah, I want that! But… I want it now!” (Just like everyone else under 30, right?) So there was my next goal. I asked myself, “how can I make this quicker? How can I supercharge this?”

In my search, I found a very interesting “life-hack” called brainwave entrainment using binaural beats. A mouthful I know, but bear with me a sec ~ here’s what that means:

Two audio tones (one in each ear), played at slightly different frequencies, stimulate the olivary nucleus in the brain. The olive, in trying to reconcile the two tones, creates a perceived “third” tone inside your brain, which is the difference between the two. So, if one tone is at 100 Hz and the other ear is experiencing a tone at 110 Hz, the difference will be 10 hz ~ which is the brainwave frequency of Alpha (a relaxed, light meditative state, that’s conducive to peak-performance).

I discovered that if I listened to this I could entrain my brain to a meditative state quite easily. I had already read of many benefits of the Alpha state.

Side Note: People speak of an “Alpha brainwave state” as if Alpha is the only range of brainwaves your brain is generating at that time, which isn’t the case. If someone talks about being in a Theta state, or Delta, or Beta, it’s just the predominant range that your brain is creating at that time, because your brain is more than likely to be producing brainwaves throughout all the ranges concurrently.

So, I began meditating with my own binaural beats. I also found a product named Holosync, created by Bill Harris, director of Centerpointe Research Institute. Their website has tons of great information on the science behind the technology and also what happens in your brain when you use this technology. Even though they keep their “carrier frequencies” secret, I thought I could do better than them so I created my own binaural beats soundtracks.

I meditated with my own tracks for about 7-8 months and I was getting pretty good results. All the while, the gap was getting bigger and bigger and my experience of life was getting happier and happier. Meditation changes you from the inside out. But it still wasn’t going as fast as I wanted.

I went back to Holosync and tried their free demo ~ it was clear that it was going to do a better job than my own homemade soundtrack did. So, I dropped the large wad of cash that it costs and ordered Awakening Prologue, which is the first level of Holosync. To go through their whole program takes about 12 years. I began using Holosync in November 2006 and the meditative state straight away seemed a lot deeper. And that’s how I began meditating, an hour every day.

Note 2012: during the past 4 years my team and I have developed and perfected our own custom technology and believe it’s superior to any other products. You can learn more about The Accelerated Meditation.

The benefits of meditation are so great it really does impact upon every area of your life because your mind and your brain dictate every other area. It regulates your body and everything changes. Your perception, your subjective reality changes. I’m going to do a separate article on the benefits of meditation because it’s such a huge topic.

When you meditate traditionally, it’s the technique that drives your brainwaves down to the meditative levels (this could be mentally reciting a mantra or simply focusing on the breath). This might take anywhere between 20 – 30 years to really master. The reason being there is no feedback mechanism. Subjectively there is no way to tell what brainwave state you are in at any given time. But with binaural beat technology like Holosync, it is the tones that entrain the brain down to the meditative level. In fact, because of this, it can go even lower than traditional meditation. You don’t need to worry about your technique, just experience the state as it happens (incidentally, whatever happens in meditation is what needs to happen. Pleasant or unpleasant). So straight off the bat, I’d discovered a way of knocking 20 years worth of growth down into about four or five years. Good news.

The main thing meditation does is expand your awareness and make you more conscious of your internal world. You begin to see all the things you’ve been doing to create your life as it is right now,  unconsciously. Each one of us creates our reality exactly the way we have chosen (however, usually unconsciously and unintentionally). Want to know your unconscious, hidden thoughts, beliefs and values? Look around you at your results and see what those thoughts have created. This isn’t about blame however, it’s about responsibility. You’re not to blame for any undesirable events, situations and people in your life (you didn’t create or attract them on purpose), but you are responsible. And meditation gives you the power to change things for the better.

My life was a mess a few years ago, and when I started meditating, I found out that my beliefs and values were directly creating what I was experiencing in my life. So once you have been meditating a while, your creativity, your ability to create your life as you want it, increases exponentially. You are able to consciously decide and implement new thoughts and behaviors.

As your awareness expands, as the gap between thoughts opens up, you are able to pay more attention to the thoughts that arise in your mind. And there will be many thoughts! It might seem like meditation will stimulate more thoughts, more dark thoughts rising to the surface, but really it’s just your awareness expanding to include previously shunned thoughts. It makes the unconscious, conscious.

When you begin meditating and your “stuff” is bubbling up to the surface (emotionally, it might be a bit crappy), you get to witness these thought patterns that you had previously made unconscious. You pushed them into a dark corner and made them into a conditioned habit that didn’t come up into your awareness at all. So you would be creating your life using these unresourceful thought patterns, and wonder why your life wasn’t working! Wondering why you were experiencing bad relationships, bad finances, sad feelings and overeating. But you were just acting out the program you’d given yourself. And meditation is like de-hypnotizing yourself to these bad habits, bad thought-forms.

It is like shining the light of your consciousness into the darker realms of your mind, your unconscious. What you find there are your old patterns that no longer serve you. I’ll get into why those patterns were created in the first place in another article. But for now, just know that if there is a part of your life that’s not working exactly as you want it to, you can be sure that there is an unconscious pattern creating it. Meditation uncovers that pattern and enables you to change it.

Ken Wilbur famously said, “awareness in and of itself is transformative.” Once you become consciously aware of something, it’s impossible to keep doing it if it’s not resourceful to you. Now here’s the difference between knowing something cognitively and being aware of it: Every smoker knows that smoking kills, but they do it anyway. Cognitive knowledge. But they are not consciously aware of the effects on the body. Someone once asked Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, an enlightened teacher, how to quit smoking. He replied simply, “smoke consciously.” If you truly become aware of what happens when you draw a deep lungful of tar and nicotine and all the other poisons, you will not be able to continue to do it. Become totally conscious, present and aware, and you will not be able to continue. You will have already decided against it. Your conscious decision overrides all physical addictive behaviors because it all starts with the mind and brain. And the body-mind is really one thing.

Meditation will influence every area of your life. My entire life changed. Every area of my life swung around. I experience love and happiness every day (feelings from within), and the happier I get, the more my external reality changes to reflect that. I went from trying to force things to happen, trying to resist things into existence, to accepting and surrender (I’ll talk more about these later as they are topics in themselves).

When I accepted my situation as it was, in my depressed state, I could then get on and move forward. It takes a lot of psychic energy to resist what is. Ironically, it turned itself around! Put effort into your self and life will take care of itself! All I needed to do was to be grateful for where I was and just move forward moment by moment towards what I wanted.

My health improved, my creativity in my work (writing, directing and editing film and television) took off: I co-wrote a TV show which that played on TV in NZ, my frustrations with work went away, my road-rage evaporated, I was able to form new relationships and am now with a beautiful and amazing woman ~ and having a baby together! That’s gotta be the most creative thing in the world… 🙂

I’m going to post more about the benefits of meditation, how long it takes and what you can do to speed it up using other methods (not just binaural beats, but also neuro-feedback brain training among other effective techniques).

I really want to communicate how beneficial and easy meditation is. My aim is to help you decide on the best meditation practice for you and implement it. I’ll also show you a range of traditional techniques, and where to get the best entrainment soundtracks. Start out small with a few minutes a day, and build on it from there.

Wishing you all the best with what could be an incredible turning point in your life.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Fia Karlsson Apr 11, 2018 @ 5:29

    Hi Jim,
    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience. I do know that we all have the answers to our questions within, your article just gave me that extra motivation to start listening.
    Thank you!
    /Fia from Sweden

    • Jim Hudson Aug 11, 2018 @ 10:25

      thanks Fia. It’s all in you 🙂

  • Ananda Oct 26, 2017 @ 2:05

    You need to run spellcheck on “mediation” and replace it with meditation.

    You also miss something about feedback. I’ve meditated on my own for years, then did a an EEG feedback. I was dropping into meditative states quickly and easily on my own. You want to be able to attain those states, not force them. You need to learn how to get there — on your own.

    It does not take 20 years. You can become very adept in a year and everyone is different.

    I think it is sad to be selling products for profit like this. I sadly wonder how “advanced” in your process you have become as you don’t seem like you have a lot of compassion for people struggling to learn meditation or overcoming depression. You could have provided your own binaural beats for free, but didn’t. So it makes me wonder how effective and transformative your product is. . . someone who has been meditating for 20 years would be selling the products near cost, and the focus of their article wouldn’t be to hawk products but on helping people freely.

    In other words, if you had mastered meditation, you wouldn’t have such a need for money. You also wouldn’t need to “market” in this manner.

  • billy Oct 20, 2016 @ 8:55

    Articles like this really irritate me. So many “how meditation changed my life” stories out there but I have sat for 5 years twice a day and I don’t see any such changes. I still feel depressed, still can’t understand why my life is shit.
    I experienced some really full on blissful states on retreat but then I just came back down to reality there has been no profound insights or changes at all.

  • Jo Jul 9, 2014 @ 9:17

    Hi, Fish…
    Actually, I respectfully disagree with Jim here. I suffer from being very shy, but I also suffer from.bad social.anxiety and depression. Shyness is a personality trait, NOT A DEFECT or flaw to be gotten rid of and it’s wrong to assume so. Social anxiety and depression are MENTAL ILLNESSES. There’s a difference. I would work towards alleviating the anxiety and depression, but don’t for a moment feel shame for being shy. There are many, many successful and shy people in this world.
    Sincerely, Jo

  • Bob May 25, 2013 @ 3:45

    You write, “When you meditate traditionally, it’s the technique that drives your brainwaves down to the meditative levels (this could be mentally reciting a mantra or simply focusing on the breath). This might take anywhere between 20 – 30 years to really master.” You are saying that the minimum number of years to “really master” traditional meditation is 20 years. I’m not sure what you mean by “really master” but I am sure of one thing – your figure of 20 years is a grotesque exaggeration of the amount of time required to become an extremely adept mediator. I suggest you’re exaggerating the time required by approximately 40-fold. I believe you’re using this exaggeration in order to sell a product, i.e., “Use my product and you can achieve mastery much more quickly.” Perhaps your product has value, but using exaggerations of this kind demean your efforts, in my opinion.

    • Jim May 25, 2013 @ 9:34

      Hi Bob, thanks for your feedback.

      Here’s what I mean by “really master” a meditation technique: When you are able to sit and cause your brain to produce brainwaves predominantly in the low-alpha, theta, or even delta ranges. I defy anyone to do that who hasn’t mastered their meditation technique. And according to the research, that can take anywhere between 20–30 years of practice.

      It doesn’t take anywhere near that long to see some benefits of meditation however. Just be aware of the difference between mastery and practice of the technique.

      And of course, there are extremely rare cases of “spontaneous enlightenment” whereby the learning of the technique process is bypassed entirely. This is the exception that proves the rule.

      The point is that the technique is only the means with which you control your brain, it’s not the point of meditation in and of itself. It’s the state that matters. And if you’re not reaching that state, you’re not meditating.

      It is true that I sell a product. But I’m not saying that “if you use my product you will master your technique more quickly,” I’m saying that when you use it, you will be taken into the meditative state, technique-free (bypassing all those years of practice before attaining the state).

  • Jad Apr 23, 2013 @ 22:01

    Dear Jim,
    I’m a 19 year old kid from Sydney Australia and I’m writing here because I am really down and looking everywhere to go back up. Your page is really inspiring, lately I have gone from loving everything to extreme doubt… this doubt is crippling and I want to believe in the essential things in life such as a soul, love and true happiness. I want to heal myself and my thoughts. This all started after I decided that a career in medicine was not for me anymore and I just couldn’t get myself up again. I went from extremely tough and hardworking to completely sickened by fear. Two paths lay ahead of me, one is my ego and my way to survive in this world and the other is the way of the soul. I can’t decide and I feel like I’ve lost who I am, and who I set out to be .
    Can you please give me some guidance into meditation, I don’t want to let go of my life at this young age… my parents are the only reason I’m alive right now.
    I hope people can find you, because meditation can save their lives
    The good work you have put into this page is what the world needs right now
    Bless you

    • Jim Apr 23, 2013 @ 22:46

      Hi Jad, I can attest to the fact that it’s no fun sliding into depression.

      And too many people are being overcome by it. I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through right now.

      Sometimes it’s really good for people to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that it is possible to recover and completely heal from depression… (all true) but when you’re in the thick of it, words are just meaningless. They were for me at least.

      First, I would strongly suggest that you find someone you can talk to. A friend, or relative. A trusted teacher, or counselor. Someone who can just listen. Someone who can look out for you.

      I hit rock-bottom right before Christmas time. I was considering seeing a psychologist or a professional like that, but none were available. I was stuck with no one. So I grabbed a pad and a pen and I started writing. After a few pages my thoughts had diverged into two personalities. Questioning and answering. And strangely I actually made some pretty good realizations after about 30 pages. But it didn’t really help how I was feeling at the time.

      “Great, now I know why I’m feeling this way, but that doesn’t help!” So, it’s not so helpful to ask “why.”

      The actual state of meditation is where you might find some real answers, and change the brain chemistry enough to start feeling differently. But it won’t happen over night. Even with my Accelerated Meditation program. It is a process. It could take a long time, or it could be spontaneous.

      For obvious reasons it’s next to impossible to be able to provide much help in the short comments section, so if you’d like to discuss it further, send me a email.

      To your (eventual) bliss,

    • Vrajesh Jun 30, 2013 @ 3:39

      Hey man.

      i am 22 and everything started for me when i was 21. Jim’s website was the first website where i found relief after i read this article. I knew that there is always a way. ALWAYS! My “story” is similar to yours i was perfectly fine with everything and boom as soon as i started to doubt my relationship with my ex-gf everything in my life crumbled. My major, friends and even my sexuality. I was VERY depressed, hopeless, and cried a lot but you know what every time i felt i was at a low point and i thought that i could not get any lower than this and i must do everything i can to get out of it. You know what i got lower and lower and lower and in that low point as soon as i accept it in that moment, i gain strength. I am scared to this day but i learned something that this is my WAKE UP call. This is a call toward living a life truly from your heart and i know that from now on every decision you make and every step you take will be towards light and joy. When things get bad or low and you can’t “take” it anymore just remember that this is just negativity surfacing in your life and its coming out for the good! Also remember “everything is impermanent!”

      I am not saying that meditation has made me “worry less” or “peaceful” all the time, but it has given me a way to face myself. I learn about myself slowly and it comes with time. Some people get sudden “AHA!” but you cannot wait for that. Like jim says its a process and there is no need to rush yourself through this. Take this opportunity (even though it sucks) and learn about yourself. To be realistic no one knows how long it will take you to feel bliss again or clarity. The only thing you can do now is to accept where you are fully, at least don’t fight it.

      As i would say “it is a blessing in disguise although i would never want to go through this again.”

      Stay strong but accepting, vigilant and take care of yourself. Don’t become lethargic or try not too. It gets hard at times. When others judge you or etc, remember that you will only make it worse for yourself if you feel bad about it. Don’t be afraid to stop doing something because its a burden to you except things that involve taking care of yourself and looking out for yourself.

      Email me if you would like to know more about my “story” haha or anything.!

      • Jim Jun 30, 2013 @ 10:02

        Hey Vrajesh,

        Thanks for such a thoughtful and valuable comment. I hope Jad reads it and gets the message of your story. It’s important for people to hear about the success of others’ who were in a similar position.

        Jim 🙂

  • fish Jan 27, 2013 @ 17:36

    Your article is inspiring.But do you think meditation helps me to get over stage fright and nervousness? I lack confidence. I talk in low pitch with people whom I don’t know.I am nervous almost all the time, except when I am in home 🙁 I am also too shy with strangers, I can’t make friends easily.I can’t start conversations with people naturally, I make the whole situation awkward if I start. Can I change the way I am with meditation?

    • Jim Jan 27, 2013 @ 17:53

      Idealized answer: Yes, you can.

      Shyness, anxiety, social awkwardness are all patterns of personality – and not very helpful ones at that. Being such, they are false.

      Meditation destroys the false. Therefore, meditation will allow these to fall away.

      Realistic answer: Will you persist with meditation? If you do, will you then accept the changes that occur? Who will you be without these traits? Not you? And can you handle being “not-you”?

      So, the answer to your question is entirely dependent on whether you want to change those patterns or not. Are you attached to those patterns? They are part of your identity… Are you prepared to give up your identity?

      Will you accept that you are able to craft a new identity? Meditation will enable you to do this. It is up to you to do it or not.

      But whatever happens, may you have peace, bliss, and success. And if you need my help, you know where to find me.


      • fish Jan 28, 2013 @ 5:25

        Thanks for your wonderful reply Jim 🙂 Today I was thinking about the questions you asked…
        I really don’t want to change completely and No I don’t want to give up my identity. I just want to change some particular traits in me which are making me unhappy, as you said “Shyness, anxiety, social awkwardness are all patterns of personality – and not very helpful ones at that. Being such, they are false.”
        I just want to be a better ME.

        • Jim Jan 28, 2013 @ 7:42

          You’re welcome, Fish.

          Unfortunately you cannot lose the awkwardness and anxiety and hold on to your current identity. They go together. Traits are part of your identity. You want to protect your identity because you think it will keep you safe.

          (hint: anything that you identify with is false)

          But if you have courage and allow the false to be revealed (in meditation), those things will fall away effortlessly.

          You will be you no matter what. The choice is, do you want to be uncontrollably limited as you are now?

          Or do you want freedom?

  • Andrew Jan 26, 2013 @ 1:44

    Hi Jim I really enjoyed reading this, and you are at peace with yourself . I myself have been in a bad state of mind for the past 2 years on and off, My work gets me down alot and my marriage is on the cards, I feel like I am on a rollercoaster of emotions , feeling high when I am creative writing poetry, painting abstract paintings , Climbing trees or mountains, but when I am low, mostly when at work doing a crappy dull van job, I cannot see through the darkness and only think negative thoughts and feel on the verge of breakdown in tears or anger to others. I come home and feel sad lonely and take it out my poor wife who adores me no matter what .I am in a crap job because of my self doubts being dyslexic having bad grades I only can get crap jobs , I am attenting a tree surgery course in a few weeks which might just patch that satisfaction level I crave . Out of desperation I attended a meditation class last night, I enjoyed the time there, and the positive attitude the monk had which was warming to my heart, We began to meditate concentrating on our breathing and blocking out thoughts other than the breath . It was very hard obviously being a new member , I tried and kept thought maybe for 15 secs , I did feel alot calmer afterwards , and will attend next week and will try everyday for 15 min to 30 mins , Im gonna really try as i want peace in my life and a better job, I could go to dr’s for depression, but do not want anti depressants , Drink and drugs only make me worse. I have partly seen the light at end of tunnel through doing creative things , with some help of meditation I can hopefully calm my thoughts and save my marriage and sanity .

    Thank you . peace and love

    • Jim Jan 27, 2013 @ 8:26

      Andrew. Let me commend you on doing something constructive about your dissatisfaction. You are ahead of the curve.

      I certainly know what it’s like to be depressed, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But let me tell you that although my memory of those years is clear, it seems like it all happened to someone else. I have no emotional attachment to those memories anymore. Something you can look forward to if you persist with your meditation.

      It will also help getting out among the trees in your course. There’s a grounding effect that happens that really helps one’s mood.

      During this time, get really interested in how you think and feel about things. Especially things that you do. Let go of judgement, and just observe those thoughts and feelings. This will help.

      Also, share what you’re going through with your wife. Allow her to support you. Your emotional strength will build very quickly.

      And if you need help with your meditation, check our my meditation program (which also includes email support) here: The Accelerated Meditation.

      Wishing you peace, bliss, and success.

  • Vrajesh Jan 6, 2013 @ 3:14

    Did you ever feel like giving up? Felt helpless and unclear? I have been meditating for almost three weeks now. I have been calmer with my problems which are obvs in my mind but I am at more of a peace with them but sometimes that anxiety takes over. I feel really like helpless and want to do anything I can to get rid of it. It’s stopping me from enjoying my life.

    • Jim Jan 6, 2013 @ 17:44


      Well done on starting meditation.

      Anxiety is the physical manifestation of your mind’s worry about the future. Bring your attention into the now / onto the breath and the anxiety will dissipate.

      However, being new to meditation, there could be some value in becoming aware of all the feelings that are arising in you. Remember, meditation is destructive of your false self, and it sometimes won’t go down without a fight.

      If you bring presence and conscious awareness into your activities, thoughts and feelings, you will have some pretty big ‘ah-ha’ moments ahead.

      This is an exciting time for you. Enjoy the ride. I wish you all the best.


      • Vrajesh Jan 9, 2013 @ 2:04

        How do I bring presence and conscious awareness into my activities, thoughts and feelings? I feel like I’ve been judging all the thoughts going on in my head. I need to learn to observe them without judging. I think this because in meditation if I have a good/bad feeling I try not to cling to it but then I feel bad so that means that I am def. judging myself.

        I practice vipassana. I try to meditate morning afternoon and night. I also meditate when I drive, I use driving as the object of meditation and focus my attention there. I also sometimes do walking meditation randomly.

        • Jim Jan 11, 2013 @ 14:57

          To bring presence and awareness to everything you do, simply ‘observe.’

          Easier said than done for the compulsive mind. For clues, read this:

          The aim is to ‘witness’ the thoughts, feelings, and actions, and even witness the thoughts and feelings about those initial thoughts and feelings.

          A good way to get in touch with your ‘witness self’ (your ‘true’ self / the universe / God etc.) is to observe a thought, and let it be. If a feeling arises from that thought (the thought ‘makes’ you angry, for example), feel the feeling, and let it be okay that you are feeling it.

          Allow yourself to feel angry. Just witness how that feels for you.

          It’s easier to do that than me telling you ‘don’t judge.’ Not judging is harder to do than, allowing something to be. Do you get the distinction?

          Also, with the amount of meditation you are doing, remember that there will be a fair amount of ‘stuff’ that will be stirred up. The more you resist the cleansing effect, the harder it will be for you emotionally. The more you allow it, and accept the process, the easier it will become.

          The river of bliss and joy always runs through you. Will you fight the current? Or let it take you?

          • Vrajesh Jan 12, 2013 @ 3:23


            Thank you for your help. I have really learned a lot from you and will continue to do so until I am certain about something. I don’t know what that something is but it doesn’t matter.

            Thank you and until next time 🙂

  • Alex Sep 6, 2012 @ 9:53

    Beautiful…Exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been meditating this whole summer…appx 5 months and it didn’t seem like anything was happening, kept switching meditation methods, different times, inconsistent, and then finally today I felt the gap that I’d been missing for so long. It drew me in and when i left it’s like I returned from some sacred recharging station lmao.

    So now I just have to continue onwards. But Jim, maybe you could find this useful, that you can “supercharge” your conscious creations and intentions, as well as experience more love and happiness by using love (most powerful force in the universe right?). I’ve had amazing results with using love (for example having people and animals follow me, magical coincidences occurring and massive shifts in consciousness), and although this seems vague right now, I truly suggest looking into it more. Think of it as the time when you didn’t know what to do with your life and found meditation. This is like when you know what to do with your life and you find the power of love. It’s actually kinda scary at times.

    But if you really want to know more about it, check out the book “The Messenger” over here: You can read it for free, or buy it if you’d prefer.

    The main reason I’m suggesting it to you, is because you already have the ability to attain deep states of consciousness, so therefore your visualization abilities will be greatly enhanced and that will aid in this “love meditation/concentration” very much.

    I wish you all the best, and truly hope you’ll try it. Even if just for a day 🙂

  • Julie Apr 30, 2012 @ 7:48

    Wow, amazing. I had a break down before Christmas, and I was holding on, not using medicine (even though my nerves was killing me, not cool). I have to say, a long with standard magnesium and omega 3s, self hypnosis and meditation have really helped me. The depression is GONE, but the anxious thoughts are still here, but they don’t hurt as much now. I’ve also started to get more creative thoughts, within music. I’ll just play my guitar and the melodies come floating.. Which is kind of fun. I’ll definetly check out binaurals and dedicate one hour every morning to continue on this path. Thanks mate. Cheers from Scandinavia 🙂

    • Jim Apr 30, 2012 @ 8:19

      Julie, hi.

      Great work! As you know first hand, it isn’t easy battling depression, but it is not only possible, but it’s beatable too. Much respect.

      Excellent point about the omega-3s and magnesium. I’ve not taken omega-3s for any length of time myself (those pills are too darned big), but I love the muscle-relaxing effects of magnesium (remember to take it every day, it takes a while to build up).

      Also important, is that you are using your art to help too. Especially playing an instrument like the guitar. You’re able to release and let go of the conscious, linear mind, and go with the infinite, creative mind.

      Check this out if you’re interested in binaurals:

      • Jim Jun 21, 2012 @ 13:07

        I’ve just ordered some high-quality fish oil for the omega-3, so I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂

        • Julie Jan 18, 2013 @ 11:08

          That’s really good. Omega-3 has a long term effect “building” up the brain. It’s not a miracle, but with magnesium, zinc, b and d-vitamins I keep my body stable in anxious times. There are several articles on the subject. But I’ll just link one here. Take care Jim.

  • Gregg Mar 2, 2012 @ 1:59

    Nice 🙂

    Yet again your words seem to have recharged my batteries. I remember a few years ago when had rest between that ‘split second’. All I can remember is the feeling. I felt as tho I was unborn and still had the choice of where I wanted to be and who. As tho I was still In the womb, with a concious catalogue of life choices in front of me. Wow. cheers Jim.

    • Jim Mar 2, 2012 @ 9:32

      Gregg, that is awesome! That experience you had was one of “pure potentiality,” and is the real you. It’s the piles of mental and emotional garbage that gets piled on top of us (not our fault) that keeps us from experiencing that every day.

      Because you have experienced it, you know you can expand out that feeling and state of being into more and more of your life. Meditate 🙂

      I’m so happy for you.

  • Robert Jan 26, 2012 @ 20:30

    Bravo. I too have been using brainwave training. I use Dr Jeffrey Thompson. I would love to buy one of his meditating tables they sound idilic. Keep up the good work. I guess the real problem, like for most people, is that I don’t get enough time to practice.

    • Jim Jan 26, 2012 @ 22:44

      Thanks Robert. One thing I’ve found about binaurals is that as a last resort for the busy person, they can be used while falling asleep. You might not get as great a benefit as sitting listening while being aware, but it’s better than nothing 🙂

  • dubble Jan 11, 2012 @ 19:37

    Excellent..and right on time. I’m using binaural beats here as well..just started this week..interesting to come across your post just a few days later. Thanks much. Be well..keep writing !

    • Jim Jan 11, 2012 @ 22:05

      Thanks, and yeah I think that binaurals are such a powerful technology – especially for me. When I started out, there was no way I was getting though my monkey-mind chatter without some serious help! 🙂