How do you think about your goals? Do you struggle to achieve them, forcing them into existence kicking and screaming? Or perhaps get frustrated with the obstacles in your way?
I’d always resisted the obstacles, fought hard for what I wanted, and had little actual success. The results were the opposite of what I wanted: failure, stress, exhaustion and eventual depression.
There is a Better Way
What I call results-focused transformation puts joy into the journey to your goals. Nutshell version is you transform Self to align with your aims, which then manifest as a natural consequence of who you are and what you love doing. Anything worth having will have its roadblocks, but when you love every moment of the ride, it’s effortless to drive through them. Thank goodness 😉
But more about that later. First, let’s find out what I was doing wrong. Then, we’ll get into exactly how to fix the errors and make goal-achievement “effortless.”
I estimate about 99% of people make the same mistakes I was making trying to reach their goals. Lots of us have grown up to believe that life is a struggle and that you have to resist what the world throws at you to get to where you want to go. But as a matter of fact, it takes so much mental and emotional effort to resist reality, that we have very little creative energy left to actually claim our prize. It’s a whole lot of huffing, puffing, and strain for nothing.
When we struggle and push against reality to get what we want, we are going against the flow of life, and goal achievement becomes very difficult. Even if and when we do achieve the goal, the emotional stress of resisting life along the way makes it a hollow win, unaccompanied by the great feelings of success.
Whereas if you can tap into the flow of the universe, goal achievement becomes a natural part of your life, a free and authentic activity. With no resistance necessary, you feel great emotionally, your brain is unfettered and more able to generate creative ideas toward the achievement of your aims. As a consequence, the euphoric brain chemicals make us feel great, which in turn motivates us to action and sustains our energy.
How it Works in Real Life
I’ll show you a practical example from my own experience. When I got sick of failed relationships and attracting the wrong kind of woman (or not attracting anyone at all), I decided to do something about it.
Long story short, I changed who I was, to align with the kind of woman I wanted to attract. I wanted someone, smart, beautiful, independent, and going places. Do you think someone like that would go for a loser? Don’t bet on it! A man has to be his own person, be a leader, be smart, funny and authentic to attract a woman with those qualities.
I can almost hear what some guys are thinking right now: “But I don’t want to change into someone I’m not. If a woman doesn’t want me for me, it’s not the right thing anyway.”
Sorry, but that’s crap! Here’s what I say to those guys. Were you born a loser? Hell no! Those insecurities and limiting beliefs are what zen masters or yogis would call the false. Those limits get applied to someone growing up, they’re not part of the Self. When you eliminate them you get closer to your true Self.
So I cut the crap ~ rid myself of insecurities, false beliefs, and wimpy-ness. Now, with those changes, do you think I became less myself? No! I became more myself. More powerful, masculine, confident and action-oriented. (I’m now happily engaged to the woman of my dreams). Here’s how you can manifest what you want.
Eliminate the False, Manifest what You Want
- Step 1: Accept Reality
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Put your awareness into your body and become consciously present. Realize the truth that you can’t change the here and now, it exists exactly as it is right now. Surrender to the facts of the current situation. Negative or positive, it is what it is ~ be at peace with it. This is called surrender.
- Step 2: Create a Plan
When you imagine what you want to create, do it with presence, be fully in the moment of imagining that reality. Feel the feelings of its accomplishment, inhabit those emotions. Then write down your plan.
Use your written statement as a mandate and recite it every day. Again, with presence, and feel the feelings of its realization. This is the fuel for the fire of motivation.
- Step 3: Work the Plan
Work it, baby! Break down your plan into bite-sized chunks, and complete a bite every day. Chunking is the secret to goal achievement. The ‘doing’ of each chunk will become joyous for you, and that motivates you further and further along toward your aims. Here’s a critical difference: the joy is in the journey, not some idealized future outcome. Then the outcomes simply become an excellent bonus to doing what you love doing.
It becomes effortless, blissful and a whole lot of fun working your plan when you rid yourself of the false. No longer do you have to fight against life, other people, the universe, or your own unconscious negative beliefs to force a result into your life.
The quickest method you can employ to destroy the false – false limiting beliefs, other peoples values, irrational fears (then eventually all fears), all roadblocks on your journey to live the most amazing life possible – is meditation. Meditation eventually rids all those limiting factors from your self-concept. Refresh yourself with meditation, and enjoy the doing in a truly fulfilled life.
So what’s you approach to goal-achievement? Do you try to force them into existence, or change yourself and allow the goal to manifest naturally? Let me know in the comments below 🙂
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Moments get values when I read your writings. They are truly amazing & can be implied practically. Thanks.
Thank you for reading. If there’s anything I can help you with, let me know 🙂
I love this post. The truth is there is not way around having to roll up my sleeves and do the work necessary to change. Thanks for the reminder!
You’re absolutely right.
But changing and getting closer and closer to your true self is not only a more enriching experience, it’s a fun way to live!