Want to know the most effective self improvement advice that lies at the heart of all success?
Here it is, and it’s the biggie. I’m going to give you the real secret to personal growth right up front. No mumbo jumbo, no products to buy, just the facts ma’am.
Focus on what you want. Keep your mind off what you don’t want.
Sounds simple. That’s because it issimple. But here’s why it’s important: 99% of people focus on what they don’t want, or on what they want to avoid, and this focusing is done unconsciously.
Why is it important to focus on what you want?
What’s wrong with just letting my mind wander like it usually does?
Your mind is a goal-seeking mechanism. The thoughts and images you spend most of your time focusing on, get sent to the unconscious parts of the mind with the assumption that it is an instruction. So, whether you are thinking of something you want or something you don’t want, your unconscious mind (that part of you that controls your behaviors, your moods, attitudes, what you notice, your impressions of the world, etc.) will set about creating or attracting it to you.
Why do the majority of people focus on what they don’t want? As youngsters growing up, we make a lot of decisions about other people and the world that stay with us for life. Unfortunately, we make these decisions when we are relatively powerless and don’t have all the facts. You might have had an unpleasant experience, so you made a generalization and concluded, “That was horrible! I never want to have that happen again.” So in order to avoid that experience your mind needs to look out for it. And, by now you’re getting the picture: what you focus on, you will unconsciously create or attract! Ever wonder why some people continually repeat the same negative patterns? Now you know.
There is also a pretty bad side-effect to focusing on what you don’t want: emotionally, you feel bad. In fact, this is a great way to notice what you are focusing on. If you feel bad, you know you’ve been focusing on what you do not want. Refocus!
If sometimes you get what you want, and sometimes get what you don’t want, chances are you are unaware of what you are focusing on, and as a consequence, are robbed of choice. If you had a choice about what you experience in life, wouldn’t you prefer to experience what you intended to, rather than what you wanted to avoid? Well, I want to assure you that you do have a choice, and I want you to exercise that choice.
How Do You Get Your Choice Back?
Decide! Make a commitment to yourself right now to focus on what you want. Whenever you notice yourself thinking about what you don’t want (or notice that you feel bad), simply shift your focus back to what you do want. Now that you know every thought is a goal, ask yourself, “do I want that thought to manifest in reality?” If the answer is no, refocus on what you do want. It’s your choice. I have a note pasted above my screen that reads, “Focus on what you want!” Make it a habit.
And if you’re super eager to regain control of that chattering monkey you call your mind (like I was), you can speed up the process by practicing any form of meditation. Try yoga if you’re more physically inclined. As the mind slows down, you are able to witness your thoughts much more clearly. And witnessing the thoughts gives you choice. So choose what you want to create for yourself and do it!
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