When I began meditating, a lot of negative emotions came up for me. This is supposed to make me feel better isn’t it? It was the opposite of what I thought should be happening.
But I was wrong.
What happens is that your awareness begins to expand. Imagine for a moment your mind is like a house, it has tidy rooms that you look at every day. But it also has a dark basement where lots of things are stored, and you never go down there. It’s where all the ‘bad stuff’ is.
But, it’s also where the foundations are.
When you begin to meditate, it’s like taking a flashlight down to the basement. At first, you’ve got a very tiny torch and can only see slivers, cobwebs, shadows… It’s pretty scary. Sometimes it can be horrible.
So you go to the store to buy a bigger flashlight.
Expand Your Awareness
You practice meditation and your awareness expands – your torchlight widens.
And now when you descend to the foundations of your mind, you can see a little clearer.
And you see that the scary shapes aren’t so scary after all.
They might still appear repellent, but they no longer seem to hurt you.
You have a closer look.
Here are all the things about yourself that you have repressed.
The thing about repressed feelings is they have a tendency to express themselves, usually in a dysfunctional way.
One of my major disfunctions used to be that I thought that I was unloveable. I believed that no one could possibly love me. And I hid memories, pains and traumas away in the basement of my unconscious mind.
And they manifested in my waking life, in the form of low self-esteem, and attracting women who couldn’t love me (and in cases where they could, I perceived it like they didn’t).
If you repress something, it will eventually express itself in a compulsive and destructive way.
When you shine the light of your awareness onto that which you fear, that which you have repressed, you gain a spiritual ‘control’ over it. I say ‘control’ but really you just gain choice about it.
When you aren’t aware of something manipulating you, you can’t do anything about it. When you are aware of a thing, you then have a choice about which way to act.
When I shone the light of awareness on that aspect of myself — and all it is is an aspect of self — I dissolved its negative power over me. After all, my unconscious only wanted to protect me from experiencing the trauma all over again. It wanted to keep me away from being hurt again.
I saw that the demon within me, that had caused me so much pain and suffering, was really my child self desiring to keep me safe! It was me all along. And the intention was good. The methods were not.
When you meditate you are expanding that light and seeing more of your self, and making your inner model of reality conscious.
As you meditate, become aware of your true feelings and their original intentions. You will gain such power over your life you cannot comprehend right now.
It’s entirely up to you, and how you want to live your life.
You can learn how to use meditation to expand your awareness for accelerated results.